KNEE JERK

I’ve been putting off writing for a while now for two reasons. One, I’ve been lazy, and not super confident that people still read blogs. If you’re lazy (which I’m not when it comes to most things) you don’t want to put a bunch of effort into something you think no one is going to read. Two, I really felt like I was supposed to write about this specifically and wasn’t super excited about it.

 I’m sure many of you are too young to know such an old-school term, so what it means (from Merriam Webster Thesaurus) is this: done instantly and without conscious thought or decision. Some of the synonyms are automatic, instinctive, mechanical, reflex, spontaneous.

I have a confession to make. As immature and ridiculous as it sounds, I have hidden a bunch of people recently from my social media feed. Because knee-jerk reactions to current events on my Instagram feed are making me crazy. And I would rather continue to love the person than to know their every thought and opinion about all of the things. We are all painfully aware that this is a very polarizing time in our world, and I personally feel a responsibility NOT to add to it. Do I have opinions? You bet. Am I often tempted to post them? Absolutely. In my heart of hearts do I think you want to hear them? No. And that, for me, ultimately determines what I post and what I keep to myself.

I feel that a lot of people think opinion posts are sort of anonymous and when so many of our followers “like” the post or make agreeable comments it’s kind of addicting and awesome and we go YES! and DANG I KNEW I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THAT!

But I don’t think it’s real. Most of the people who follow us probably are on the same page, because that’s one of the reasons they’re following us. I think many people, like me, don’t engage because we a. disagree and/or b. think serious and controversial discussions should take place in relationship, not a social media post because it feels a bit like a one-sided argument.

I believe there is, most of the time, a difference between opinion and perception. But I also believe that many, if not all opinions are based on our perception. If you and I have a different perception of a situation or event we are probably never going to agree on the outcome or how to move forward. This, I think, could be the basis of many broken relationships be it on social media or worse, in real life.

So when is posting your opinion, which is based on your perception of worldly events, the right thing to do? Should we be examining our motives more carefully? Is it to see how many people agree? Or because we think that someone might be influenced by what we think, and will change? Does that ever actually happen?

When it comes to social media we can choose what we want to show up in our feed. If you don’t want to see photos of my grandkids or camping trips you don’t have to. I’m missing out on a lot because of the things I don’t want to sift through, and I’m sorry about that. I guess it’s a form of self-preservation, and a protection of the relationships I would like to keep.

I realize that I am probably making a good case for not hiding people from my feed. But if I’m being honest, I’ll also confess that I’m not good at compartmentalizing and I simply do want to see pictures of your kids and vacations and food because it makes me feel a little bit connected to those of you I don’t get to see often. I think that’s what social media was originally intended to be, or at least that’s my Pollyanna view of what I would like it to be.