It's not about ME?!

The other day I heard a country song (yep, I listen to country sometimes. I’ll pause here so you can go unfriend me) and they were singing about being humble and kind. What a simple concept, I thought. Hold the door for the person coming in behind you. Be alert to the vertically challenged person that can’t reach the can on the top shelf at the grocery store. Or the poor soul that can’t get out of the parking lot driveway because-no-one-no-not-one-will-let-them-into-the-never-ending-freaking-line-of-cars-at-the-stop-light-because-for-the-love-of-God-I’m-late-and-I’m-blind-to-everything-but-me-so-it-really-sucks-to-be-you. Note: these are not the actual lyrics to the song; I came up with them all by myself. Also, I’m writing this post to myself as much as anyone because I fail at this sometimes frequently all of the times.

Yesterday I went on a date with my hubs. He has a motorcycle, and he LOVES him some motorcycle riding, especially with me on the back. It’s his jam, for sure. Me, not so much. My perfect date day would involve walking, riding a bicycle, or sitting in the sand listening to the surf, sipping an adult beverage. Or driving up the coast. IN. A. CAR.

So as we were flying riding on the freeway (!) toward Orange Circle, and I was mildly terrified loving every minute, imagining my helmeted head was going to blow off at any moment enjoying the freedom of the wind around us and squeezing my eyes shut soaking in the beauty of the outdoors, the idea of this post came to me.

Today it’s not about me! WHAT?! I could do something for someone else, and actually love it more than if it WERE about me? Truthfully, it was the BEST DAY! And he was so happy. It made me change my mind about motorcycle riding because of how it made him feel. I got to share his passion, and it was truly gratifying to make the day about him.

Being humble and kind can mean doing something that may be challenging for you but makes someone else’s day. Sitting for hours with someone who is hurting, or sick, and not saying a word. Not holding a grudge for that one time you said something mean and thoughtless to me. And never apologized. Saying thank you to the person who refills your water when you’re at that tragically expensive restaurant (and you’re thinking oh yes you WILL refill my water because I’m paying a dang king’s ransom for this stupid piece of salmon the size of a deck of cards and nothing else on the plate but some fancy sauce swirl). Or doing something that your spouse wants to do even if it’s mildly terrifying or not what you would choose.

My parents were not religious people in the common definition of the word. But you don't have to be in order to believe in The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. My dad helped neighbors build fences and pour new driveways, just because that’s how he lived. They needed help, and he could give it. Here is how Jesus himself said it: “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.” Matthew 7:12a, The Message.

Jesus is smart.

Because it’s just about putting others before ourselves. It’s about recognizing that there’s a lot of stuff going on outside our precious self-absorbed little lives…and people that need to see more grace. And humility and kindness. And help sometimes, getting that can off the top shelf.

Give yourself away. Hold the door. Help build a fence. Choose to do what THEY want to do, instead. You will never be sorry, I promise.