The Right Ingredients

Last night I was stumped as to what to make for dinner, as what I had planned was missing a key ingredient. I didn’t want to go out, so I started poking around to see if I had enough random stuff to make something edible. If you’re not a foodie you might want to skip the next paragraph.

I found leftover chicken with which I made broth for soup.  I found black beans, tomatoes, fire roasted corn, green chilies, fresh carrots, celery, onion and zucchini and threw them in. I added fresh jalapeno, cilantro and avocado after I plated (bowled?) the soup, and I squeezed fresh limes over the top. As you read the long list of ingredients, try and imagine the HUGE mess I made in the kitchen which my sweet husband cleaned without complaining. He indulges the chaos of my culinary creations, and I love him for it.

The point is, all those ingredients came together beautifully, accidentally, to make something amazing.

I have a few people in my life that I love, that I think not coincidentally share many of the same characteristics. Each and every one of them is tender, loving, creative, sensitive, affectionate, humble, and has above average intelligence. Every one of them stands out as a leader in their families, friend groups, and communities. They are all deep feelers and thinkers.

You know what else they have in common?

Each one of them suffers from some level of anxiety, with or without panic attacks, that can come without reason or warning. Sounds delightful, doesn't it? Every one of them prays for God to heal them from it. And so far he has not.

These people are BRAVE. They have to be. I remember the first time someone I knew someone that was experiencing anxiety and I was stunned. What?! You have a perfect life! What on earth could you be depressed and anxious about? But people who have anxiety will tell you that it, by its very nature, is fear that often doesn’t make sense. It can be irrational. Unfounded. Silly. But it’s not, because it's real.

That way that I made dinner last night? I think this is the complete opposite of how God works. He doesn’t go poking around for leftovers, random ingredients; he thoughtfully and intentionally chooses the parts of us that make us…well, us. I don’t believe he chooses for any of us to get sick or hurt, or to have anxiety or depression. I don’t think he makes any mistakes, even when he doesn’t heal us. Why, then, doesn’t he just do it? I wish I knew, but I do think he uses them. That he’s busy doing something else that is making them better people. More faithful. More powerful and authentic leaders. More empathetic ministers. Because you know what else all these people have in common?

They love Jesus. Like, LOVE love him.

They have what can, at times, be a crippling or paralyzing condition, but they don’t fail to proclaim his glory because of it. They tell others that they have prayed and prayed but so far he hasn’t healed them. But they still believe he can.

I think God adores these people. Not that he doesn’t adore all people. But the ones that are in the midst of incredibly painful circumstances, and they still lift their eyes to the Creator of the Heavens and know He. Is. There. Well, I think these are people that are extra special to him…the ones that continue to cry out, even when they think he doesn’t hear.

I’m no theologian, obvi. But I believe that how God made these people is beautiful and amazing, and not an accident. I see these people function with a different kind of strength, a God-sized courage, and a deeper faith. And I long for it.